Fullmetal Alchemist: The Jokers Joke
by stimpy532000
Summary: A State Millitary 11CV sedan goes crazy and a handfull of soldiers are ordered to find a powerful alchemist who is supposebly the culprit, but was it really this alchemist's doing? Will our heros be able to find this alchemist? Whats the Furher up to?


Dang, its been a long time sence I've made any fan fiction and the main reason is because I'm not much of a fan-writer\fan-artist, I prefer to make my own stuff. I'm making this fan fiction though because I could barely resist the idea.

This story takes place after episode 30 but Hughes is still around, it features 2 characters of my own which one of them you can find a picture of on my DeviantArt account, now onto the story!

Amestris 2:22 PM, at the central State Military base, a new recruite had been ordered to work under Frank Archer whom was busy at his desk pondering what his next move should be and how to win General Hakuros favor. The new recruit walked into the room, slammed his hands down on Archers desk, and said "Hey man! Your cars haunted! I was just polishing her up and she backed away from me!". Archer got up and responded with "Calm down Larry, the e-brakes probably not engaged.".

Larry then got in Archers face and said "Go look for yourself man! That thing backed into a space on its own!". The two walked out to the parking lot, Larry shivering and hiding behind Archer who observed the car sitting still and commented "Larry, I can't keep chasing wild geese! I have a Gener..erm, case to solve!". The duo turned around to head back in only for Larry to hear an odd laugh that sounded like it was coming from the car, Larry immediatly turned around yelling "You think thats funny!? Come here and I'll show ya whats what!".

The car than backed out and headed over, Frank Archer turned around and noticed the car moving on its own in which Archer responded "This can't be! A living car! It must've escaped from Lab 5! I want it detained, Larry! Bring me that car!". Larry then said "Its only 2 feet away from you dope! You take it!", Frank Archer backed away from the car slowly, somewhat shivering and said "But I'm your superior Larry, you should do as I say if you want any pay!". Edward and Alphonse Elric were just returning to HQ and noticed the 2 bickering about so they walked over to them and Ed spoke "So, whats up with you two?".

Frank Archer then looked at Ed and responded "This automobile here was acting up and we were having an engaging discussion as to why, I'm sure with your brilliance you could help us.". Larry looked back at Frank Archer with an odd face and thought "This guys just freaky sometimes.. actually he's always been freaky.". Edward lifted the hood and noticed a blood seal on the fire wall, "Hm, now why would there be a blood seal on a car?" Ed thought. Al noticed the seal too and responded with "Brother! Theres a bloodseal like mine but smaller and more detailed!". Ed looked at Al and yelled "Well no crud Al!." to which Al responded with "You should've be less sh.." only to have Larry put his hand over Als mouth and say "Less shakey! Yea! Don't be scared!"Ed turned back to examine the seal better while Larry whispered to Al "You know what he does if you say that word!", Al responded with "Sorry, I'll be more careful.".

Furher King Bradley was going out for a stroll and noticed the group examining the car so he walked over and said "Is there something wrong with that car?".

Everyone looked up and saluted Bradley except Al thus Larry elbowed him and said "Ow! Salute him darn ya!". Bradley noticed the seal and said "I take it someone found one of our missing cars.". Archer than spoke "Larry here valiantly tracked down this automobile and noticed this bloodseal on it, we figured that it may be the work of a homonculi", Larry gave a weird look at Archer again and thought "You're such a ridiculous poet". Bradley than said "Resume your duties, I'll have this car taken to one of our labs and examined.

The Elrics, Archer, and Larry headed back into the building while Bradley turned around, pulled out his sword, and scratched through the seal, "I told you to stay back in Drachma, now I'll make sure to do away with all of you fools." he spoke but as soon as he put his sword the on the seal the car tripped the Furher and took off into the woods.

"That car must be the work of Nolokokor." the Furher thought. The Furher walked back inside and pondered about the encounter. A Joquiz Thunderbolt walked up to Archers desk and said to him "Sir! The Furher wishes to see you! Come with me!", Archer got up out of his chair, Larry turned and asked "What about me?", Archer than said "Just guard my office, I'll let you know anything of interest". Larry than just sat back down and Joquiz sneered a grin as he and Archer walked away.

They arrived at the Furhers office and Joquiz said "Greetings sir! I have broughten Archer here as you asked!", Archer than said "Calm down Joquiz, theres no need to be hasty.". Bradley than look behind the three and asked "Wheres Larry? He should've come in too.". Archer than said "I told him to guard my office, I didn't think that you wanted to see an officer". Bradley than closed his eyes for a minute and then said "That car drove out into the woods and I suspect that the car may be a work of Nolokokor".

Frank Archer than looked lighty shocked while Joquiz asked "Sir! Whos this Nolokokor?", Bradley than responded with "He's an alchemist whos wanted for human transmutation, he's been known for playing pranks on us and deteriorating the States reputation, he's a dangerous alchemist so be careful, I suggest that you take Armstrong with you. Find this alchemist and execute him". Frank Archer gave a Kimbley-like sneer and walked out of the office thinking "This'll be easy with Armstrong on my side, I just wish that the Crimson Alchemist would hurry up and make up his mind". He went into the office and told Larry "We're going to Drachma to hunt down a criminal alchemist, you may join us if you want". Larry got up in 2 seconds flat excited, grabbed his three pistols, and the trio walked down the hall with a few more soldiers following. Frank Archer than spotted Armstrong in the hall and said "Hey big man, we're going to Drachma to hunt down an Alchemist known as Nolokokor, come with me.". "Sir! Armstrong responded.". Joquiz looked down as he walked thinking "Why does he have to bring that scaled scum with us? We don't need him". The party loaded up a few trucks and drove off to Drachma.

An hour later at the East HQ Hakuro recieved a notification about the search party and ordered Mustang and Hawkeye to join the party, so the duo drove off in a State military sedan. Hakuro than stared off thinking "If this fails the State may loose some of its most prized soldiers, I must ensure their victory!", and with that being thought Hakuro hopped onto a near by bicycle of his and rode off yelling "Look out criminals! The States huntin' you down!" and then he responded to himself "I think thats open for discussion".


End file.
